


Somewhere Only We Know

by Keefer (Xiel)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Age Difference, Barebacking, Barely Legal, M/M, Presumed Dead, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 20:45:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1199601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xiel/pseuds/Keefer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy had been his and his alone, but now he was no ones, and there was nothing that Ed could do about that, and that fact hurt the most of all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere Only We Know

**Author's Note:**

> For my Supernatural Readers, Ha! Nope! MWHAHAHAHA! For those here to read this, one explanation; this is an alternate reality, but just in the sense of what would have happened if Roy was taught by Hohenheim. That's why there will be differences and such. If you need explanation, message me. Please enjoy and review! Thanks!

**Roy 18, Edward 4**

"Come on Roy! Alphonse is waiting for us!" The little hand tugged at the teens, the older boy letting himself get tugged behind the stumpy little legs that never seemed to tire.

"Alright, alright, calm down Bean." Roy chuckled, almost bent in half as he tried to keep up with the exuberant child before him.

Ed stopped dead in his tracks, his small face contorting into a mask of rage, "Don't call me a bean!"

Roy put his hand on the top of Ed's head, ruffling the golden locks that he found there for a second, smirking as he said, "I'll stop calling you Bean when you stop resembling one."

Ed crossed his arms, sitting down on the grass, as he pouted, "It's not my fault that I haven't grown yet."

Roy looked down at the child near his feet, shaking his head at his antics, "If you drank your milk this wouldn't be a problem now would it?"

Ed's pout turned into a look of utter disgust as he stuck out his tongue, his face contorted as he exclaimed, "Milk is disgusting! I am never going to drink that shit!"

Roy couldn't help but laugh at the younger boy, his distain far too cute to be necessary. This only made Ed all the more enraged, the boy getting to his feet and demanding from Roy, "What's so funny!"

Roy's laughed died down to a light chuckle, the teen squatting down to be eye level with Ed, "You are Bean." He could see the steam beginning to come out of Ed's ears, the small child seething as Roy continued, "Can you promise me one thing Ed?"

Ed's eyebrows came together in confusion, nodding slowly as his temper calmed down. Roy smiled slightly, his eyes begging as he asked the boy before him, "Promise me that you'll drink your milk?"

Ed tilted his head slightly, not quite understanding the older boy, "Why do you want me to promise you that?"

Roy sighed, running a hand over his face before answering the question, "As you know Ed, the summer is ending soon and that means that I need to leave. I'm heading to East City remember?"

Ed dropped his eyes, shuffling his feet as he muttered, "Yeah I remember…" Lifting his head Edward looked around, refusing to meet Roy's eye as he uttered, "…I promise I guess."

Roy smiled, standing back up to his full height, dwarfing the child at his feet, "Let's go find Alphonse."

Ed perked up at that, running in the direction of the stream that the boys always played at, calling over his shoulder as he did so, "Come on Roy! Move your ass!"

Roy laughed, running after the boy that he had known ever since his birth, the kid holding a special place in his heart.

 

~FMA~

The train whistle echoed down the platform, the sharp ringing remaining in the ears of those unfortunate enough to hear it. Roy hiked his bag over his shoulder, tightening his hand on the strap several times before taking the final steps towards his future. Before his foot could hit the ground though a small body collided with his leg, arms wrapping themselves tightly around it. Looking down Roy saw Ed clinging to his pants, his tiny fists clutching the fabric with no hint of letting go. In less than a second Alphonse was there also, his form hanging tightly onto Roy's other leg.

"Please don't go Roy," Ed's voice was muffled, his face buried in the fabric of Roy's pants.

Roy opened his mouth to speak before he was cut off, Alphonse mimicking the plea of his older brother, "Stay here -oy. Please?"

Roy placed his bag on the ground, kneeling as the boys detached themselves from his legs. Taking one face in each hand Roy turned the downcast gazes towards him, their golden eyes full of tears as they meet his, "Edward, Alphonse, I'm going to make you a promise alright? I promise that I am going to come back, I swear it."

Alphonse sniffled, wiping a tear from his eye, as Ed demanded, "How do I know you're going to keep your promise?"

Roy turned to him, his face stern as he said, "As long as you keep your promise, I'll keep mine."

That seemed to appease the boy as he quickly threw his arms around Roy's neck, hugging him briefly before running back to his father and jumping into his arms. Alphonse did the same as his brother, holding onto Roy for a bit longer before ending up in his mother's arms.

Roy stood, taking his bag in hand and walked onto the train, leaving his luggage with the attendant before entering the passenger car, taking a seat next to the window. Turning his head he saw the entire Elric family waving, smiles on the faces of each except for Ed's. The small boy was trying his hardest to hold back the tears that were silently streaming down his face. Pushing down the window Roy waved back, the chorus of good-byes and well wishes flooding him. The booming voice of Hohenheim called out to him over the rest, calling out one last lesson to a pupil about to become a master, "Don't forget what I taught you boy! And remember! Stay out of the rain!"

Roy laughed, waving at the man and replying, "I won't forget! And Ed! I'm coming back for you! I promise!"

The boy's smile was the last he would see of Ed for twelve long years.

**Roy 22, Edward 8**

The bullets flew over his head, dust and smoke rising and threatening to suffocate him at any moment. Coughing hard to clear the rubble from his throat Roy stood, right hand out before him, torso turned away from the fighting, his eyes narrowed and focused. The pause was brief, a snap breaking the tension in the air. A rush of flame sprouted from his fingers accompanying the deafening explosion that rocked the deserted city, another building collapsing among the hundreds that already lay in ruin. The man lowered his arm, the gunfire having ceased completely.

He was still staring at the ruin, his face emotionless and void, eyes becoming cold and empty over the past weeks. He had only arrived at the front line twenty days ago, a time span that seemed more like a lifetime at this point than anything else. A hand landing on his shoulder and a slick voice chuckling in his ear broke his trance, "Wow, remind me not to get on your bad side."

Roy shrugged the hand off, striding briskly back to camp, the front lines holding no purpose for him anymore, "I was only following orders."

Kimblee jogged after Roy, over taking him before walking backwards in front of him with a grin on his face as he taunted, "Aw come on Roy. You can't tell me that you didn't enjoy that even a little bit."

Roy stopped walking instantly, his hand shooting out to grab Kimblee by the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to hiss in his face, "There is  _nothing_  that I enjoy about this war. The sooner that you get that through your thick skull the better."

Kimblee raised his hands, the crazed smile still on his face, "Alright, I get it."

Roy huffed, pushing the man away from him as he stalked back to the main camp leaving Kimblee behind him. Those words echoed after him during the night, poisoning his thoughts and conversations, resilient to a fault. It didn't matter what he did, there was nothing that he could do to get rid of them, even Hughes' ramblings about his perfect girlfriend waiting for him back home couldn't get them out. Each word called out to him, ricocheting in his head and magnifying until it threatened to tear him apart, adding to every doubt and lingering thought that still remained in his head. Standing from the campfire that fought away the darkness and chill of the night Roy left, his feet taking them where ever they deemed necessary. The protests of his fellow soldiers and alchemists fell of deaf ears, his mind so full of thought that he was blinded to the world around him.

He wasn't sure how he got there, but an unknowable amount of time later Roy found himself standing before the very building that he had brought down earlier that day, his hand reaching out to touched the scorched stone. His fingers came back covered in soot, the smell of burning flesh reaching his nostrils, his stomach heaving at the scent. Tears filled his eyes, running down his checks in silent rivers as his fist curled, punching the wall before him. Staring down at his hand Roy knew that he broke it, the pain shooting up in throbbing waves telling him as much. But strangely it didn't matter. It didn't compare to the pain he caused, the lives that he took. Every single child, man, and woman that cried out, their pleas for mercy, for compassion, ringing in his ears, each one louder than the first. His guilt swallowed him, the orders that he followed blindly without a word against the sheer monstrosity haunting his every step. Roy was disgusted with himself, no longer a dog of the military but the monster that children feared every night.

Clenching his fist Roy yelled, his head turned to the heavens, eyes shut as tears continued to flow from them. The air around him churned, swirling up into a vortex around his body. His cries continued, the pain and anger growing with each second as his heart tore in two. He wanted nothing more than to end it, to stop it permanently before it broke him forever. This was too much to bear, a weight that he couldn't carry alone but couldn't share with anyone. It was his and his alone, only one escape in sight.

The wind stopped, his screaming dead in the silence of the desert air. Roy became numb, his body shutting down along with his mind as he set forth on a task that he knew he had to complete. In the emptiness of the desert Roy stopped, a soft snap of his fingers erupting the landscape in a beautiful array of fire and smoke.

~FMA~

Ed waited everyday by the front window, his hope never fading that one day Roy would walk back up those steps just like he did so many years ago. So many things had faded from his memory of those years but one thing remained the same, Ed would never forget the look Roy would have walking up those steps after his father, shoulders heavy and steps scraping, the training draining him of any energy that he had. But that would all change the moment that he caught glimpse of Ed's face in the window, a smile lighting up his face, a new vigor coursing through his veins as he would sweep the child into his arms, twirling him around as the sweetest laughter would pour out of Ed's mouth.

Al use to wait with Ed, but after the second year had passed, the boy stopped appearing at his brother's side, his time taken by things that he had deemed more important. But Ed waited, his gaze never leaving that dirt path leading to their front door.

It was the ending of the fifth year after Roy had left that someone finally walked down that path, the uniform of a military officer igniting the hope in Ed's chest. With a cry of 'He's back!' ringing through the house Ed flew out the door, running down the path as fast as he could until he reached the man walking down the dirt road. Colliding with the man Ed wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in his chest, all the while murmuring, "I knew you were going to come back."

There was a brief moment before Ed realized something was wrong, his head rising slowly to gaze upon the face of the man. This was not his Roy, this man was too tall, his hair spiky and glasses over almond auburn eyes, not the dark eyes that Ed had always admired. Ed pulled back, the shock numbing him as he stated, "You're- you're not him. You're not Roy."

The man had tears in his eyes, shaking his head solemnly as he replied, "No, I'm not. But I'm here to talk to you about him."

Ed blinked, his heart starting to pound furiously in his chest. This couldn't be happening; it must have been a trick, something that Roy thought would be funny. He was going to appear at any moment laughing as his eyes sparkled the way that they use to in the afternoon sun. Ed looked up at the man, his brow darkening, "What about him?"

The man paused, looking at the front door before suggesting, "Maybe we should go inside-"

Ed's face darkened, yelling at the man, "What about him?!"

A large hand gripped Ed's shoulder, his father's voice stern, "That's enough Edward. Now, if you would like to come in, we can talk more comfortably there."

Ed threw his father's hand off his shoulder, his vision going red as he ran, his feet taking him to the place that they knew the best, the tree overshadowing the river by their house. He didn't realize there were tears streaming down his face until he collapsed, lungs heaving as he tried to breathe, each cry forcing the air he inhaled right back out. Curling into a ball Ed wept, his body convulsing as each sob wreaking havoc on his spirit, his heart breaking as the truth settled in. There was nothing that he could do other than cry, fingers tearing up grass and dirt as he fought against the injustice of it all.

He was on his knees as he lifted his head, face soak with snot and tears as he cried out to the heavens, his voice breaking with the strain as he screamed over and over again, "YOU PROMISED! YOU PROMISED ME THAT YOU WOULD COME BACK YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU BREAK YOUR PROMISE YOU TWO FACED ASSHOLE SHIT HEAD FUCKING BASTARD!" He screamed until he croaked and then yelled even more. Once his voice failed him he collapsed, all the energy and will gone from his body, every reason he had to fight was gone. His eyes slid shut and his head rested on the ground that once held such lovely memories, now nothing more than a painful reminder of what he once had, while Edward whispered, "You were the only friend I had, I loved you. And you left without me. I'll never forgive you for this. I'll never forgive you for breaking my heart."

**Edward 14**

The desert wind cut into his skin, the sand tearing into his flesh as he walked the ruins of Cselkcess, stone crunching under his boots as he walked. It was rumored that this city held the secrets of the philosopher's stone, something that he had been searching high and low for the past five years. He had spent that time training under his father, the man teaching him and Alphonse everything that he knew about Alchemy, a knowledge that was far vaster than anything one single person knew, but it still was not enough. That was why he became a State Alchemist despite the protests of his family. His choice estranged him from them, Alphonse being the only connection that he still had, news of their well doing being sent to him once every few months. His brother always begged in his letters for Edward to come back home, but his wishes were never granted. Edward was on a mission and he wouldn't return until he finished.

His search for the philosopher's stone was fueled by one thing, his desire to bring Roy back from the dead. When he first asked his father about human transmutation he was immediately shot down, his father forcefully telling Edward that it wasn't possible. Yet that had only made Edward try harder to get his friend back. The last two years he had spent traveling the world scrounging for any clues about the production or existence of a stone. That is what lead him here, the ancient city of Cselkcess, destroyed years ago and yet its secrets remained.

Edward was silent as he made his way to the center of the city, only the sound of the wind could be heard across the vast emptiness. With his hood over his head Edward scanned the ruins, keen eyes taking in every detail that he could, searching for anything that could be of use to him. The buildings were in complete disarray, the creak of stone against stone piercing the silence as the wind blew. Ignoring the noise Edward continued, stopping in the center of what was once the center of the city, a large mural carved into one of the last standing walls of the ruins. The carving was one that was hard to make out, the years of wind and sand wearing away at the stone until it was flat, the barest of outlines showing that something had even been there.

Taking a step closer Edward leaned in closer to examine the drawing, his hand reaching out to outline the stone. There was a terrible grinding to his right, Edward turning just in time to see a pillar falling towards him, the stone barreling downwards upon him faster than he could react. Tumbling into chunks the pillar collapsed, pieces falling with deadly force. Edward tried to get out of the way, his reaction to jump out of the way not enough to take him from the line of fire. The stones landed, crushing Edwards right arm and left leg, his cry echoing on deaf ears around the desert, not a soul to hear his pain.

Edward struggled for a moment, trying his hardest to get out from the pillar, to get away from the pain burning through his body. His vision started to blur, his arms shaking as he gave one last attempt before collapsing, the darkness consuming him completely.

 

~FMA~

Edwards head was throbbing, sunlight piercing through his eyelids causing him to groan and turn away from the source. There was a commotion beside him, the sound of multiple feet slapping against pavement alerting Edward to the presence of the others around him. The whispers were hushed, concern and disbelief at the core of each one. Edward groaned again, trying to open his eyes to see what was happening. It took several tries for his eyes to become use to the light, nothing but shapes before him, his vision slowly filing in the details and colors of his surroundings.

From what he could see there were three people around him, a small child at his right side was tending to a bandage, humming as he did so. There was an elderly man at his feet, mixing something that Edward couldn't see in a bowl. Lastly, a middle-aged man stood farthest away, his face covered in the shadows of the room. From what Edward could tell he was of huge build, his arms easily the size of his torso.

A moan escaped from Edwards's lips when he tried to turn, his body fiercely protesting against any movement that he made. He tried to look down, his head spinning as he did so. There was a soft hand on his shoulder, pushing down against it with gentle force, "Easy boy. You need to rest, you lost a lot of blood."

Edward squinted, looking around the room in confusion, "Where am I? What happened?"

The old man looked at him curiously, the bowl stopping in its movement towards Edwards's lips, "Do you truly not remember?"

Edward shook his head nimbly, the movement causing another wave of nausea to course through his body. The old man sighed, putting his hand under Edward head and helping him raise it, tipping the bowl and it's contents into Edward's mouth, "Easy now. Take it slow."

Edward swallowed the contents greedily, choking on the last several drops. The old man gently placed his head back down, resting the bowl on the ground before retelling the circumstances that lead to that moment, "You were brought to us by that man there, his name is Scar. He happened to be traveling through the ruins of Cselkcess when he heard the pillar collapse. You are lucky that he was there boy, if not for him, you would be dead right now."

Edward looked towards the man, Scar turned pointedly way from the younger mans gaze, "You have my thanks." Edward tried to sit up, pushing with his left arm for leverage. A gasp travelled through him, his hand going to touch the only thing left of his right arm, his bandaged shoulder, "Wha- Where's my arm?"

The young boy jumped into the line of Edward's vision, his eyes wide and panicked as he said, "You gotta calm down mister! You're hyperventilating!"

Edward tried to calm himself down, his heart racing as he forced his breaths to come in deep and slow. His brow was covered in a cold sweat, hands shaking as he asked again, "What happened to my arm?"

A deep voice rumbled from the end of the room, the man named Scar speaking for the first time, "When I found you your arm and leg were crushed under the rubble. They both had to be removed."

Edward looked at the old man, his breath coming in faster again, "My, my leg too?"

The old man laid his hand on Edward's chest, bringing the attention back to his breathing. Edward inhaled deeply, focusing on calming himself down. Once his heart rate was down, his eyes shut and breathing stilled the man answered, "You have lost your right arm and left leg. I apologize, there was nothing else that I could do."

Edward nodded, casting the blanket that covered him off his body, "I understand." Struggling he stood up, leaning against the young boy as he attempted to hobble to his delicately stacked possessions. Balancing as best he could, Edward started collecting his things, shrugging on his clothing while trying not to pass out.

The gruff voice emerged from the back of the room again, demanding and harsh, "Where do you think you are going?"

Edward struggled to fasten his pants, his anger growing as he did so, "I need to get back to my home town. I know a couple of automail mechanics who can help me out."

The man walked towards Edward, removing his hand from the buckle, doing it up easily, "I am going with you." Edward opened his mouth to protest but stopped at the glare from Scar, "You can barely clothe yourself, how do you think you'll cross the desert with one leg and one arm?"

Edward couldn't argue with that, his brow furrowing as he snapped, "Fine. But just because you didn't give me a choice."

Scar shook his head, the stubborn nature of this young boy bound to be trying for him.

 

~FMA~

The sight of Edward limping towards the house supported by a complete stranger had Alphonse completely by surprise. He rushed from the house, coming to his brother's side and supporting the other half of his weight, thousands of questions running through his mind, but not asking a single one. Instead he led his brother to the house, sitting him in one of the dinning table chairs before going immediately to the phone to call Granny Picket.

The appearance of Edward and his trip remained a mystery, the boy refusing to speak about it until he had a new arm and leg. Granny and Winry worked fast, the operation done in less than a day, the nerve connections rebuilt and the steel welded to his skin. Edward endured the entire surgery without a sound, his eyes focused and clear. He was determined to get back on his mission, and he would be back in perfect condition to do so in less than a year.

**Edward 16**

The Führer had found it suiting to change Edward's alchemist title due to his newly acquired automail, going from the Boy Alchemist to the Fullmetal Alchemist, a title that Edward found far more suiting to his needs. At least this way he could have an intimidating name to compensate for the lack of height, not that he would ever admit it.

Edward had been put on an assignment in the ruined city of Ishbal due to rumors of a tribe of Ishbalan's still living out in the ruins. The group had been sent out to eradicate the rumor or the civilization. Neither was allowed to continue.

The outer shells of the houses loomed over Edward and his small troupe of soldiers as they walked through the dead city, the sounds of boots on cobbled stone echoing their location to any who were around. The wind cut through the streets; sand swirling around their feet as the men and few women made their way across the barren land. None wished to be there, completing their task as swiftly as possible so they could return to their homes and loved ones.

Edward's mind was wondering as he strode down the streets, the ever-present problem of the philosopher's stone flooding his mind. A sharp clatter brought him out of his musings, golden eyes turning to the source of the noise. Holding up a hand the group behind him stopped, Edward's eyes scanning the area around him, the air still as he waited for a sign that his ears were not playing a trick on him. Not a single breath was let out, the silence complete as each person remained frozen. The sound of a scuffle had Edward shooting off in a flash, his feet pounding on the streets as he made off towards the sound. He could hear his men running after him, but none could catch up with the boy, his task taking his feet to new speeds.

He saw his target ahead of him, a dark form of a man slipping into one of the long abandoned buildings. Edward gritted his teeth and sped up, his legs pumping furiously as he swallowed up the distance between him and the unknown human. He burst through the dark doorway, the light just leaving from the afternoon sky. His eyes swept around the room quickly, the forms of toppled furniture and broken pottery lay scattered on the ground. He stood for a moment with his chest heaving, his mind calculating everything he saw before he sensed a moment too late the movement to his right.

His breath left in a huff as Edward was tackled to the ground, his left arm crying out in pain as it took the brunt of the blow. Hissing through his teeth Edward pushed against his attacker, throwing the form off of him before taking it in a lock-hold, pulling the until face close to his to yell, "Who are you?"

Edward was stunned, his mouth dropping open as his heart stopped. There was nothing that could have prepared him for the sight before him. With disbelief in his voice Edward let go of his grip, backing away from the form before him with wide eyes, "No… You can't be. He's dead…" Edward's shock was swiftly replaced by anger, gripping the man by the throat as he hissed in his face, "WHO ARE YOU?"

The fear in the man's face was hidden under a stern gaze, his eyes cold and calculating as the sweat dripping down his forehead creating pools in his shirt collar, "I- I don't know what you're talking about-"

"Don't lie to me!"

The footsteps of the soldiers finally caught up to Edward, the younger man turning towards the source of the noise before glaring down at the other man, "Don't make a sound." The man nodded slowly, his eyes narrowing before glancing around the room once Edward's gaze was turned from him.

Edwards kept his grip tight on the man, poking his head out of the doorway to greet the soldiers calling his name out in the streets, "Over here!"

The lead soldier turned, waving his fellow comrades in the proper direction before heading towards the alchemist. The shuffling of feet headed towards Edward, the head of the squad calling out, "Did you find anything?"

Edward chuckled, running his hand through his hair in a embarrassed motion as he said, "Turns out it was just a cat…"

The troupe visibly relaxed at that statement, a sigh of relief travelling through them all. The was a slight discussion between the men before the first turned to Edward one more time, "Does that mean we can retire for the evening then sir?"

Edward nodded, waving them off as he said, "Oh yeah sure. I'll catch up to you later."

He watched as the men shuffled off, heading to the outskirts of the city where they had set up their tents and provisions at the beginning of the day. Edward turned back to the man, his grip tightening on the shirt, the seams starting to tear under the stress. "Tell me who you are and what you're doing here," Edward sneered, his voice slipping through his grinding teeth.

The man met Edwards gaze and said levelly, "Let me go and I'll tell you."

Edward glanced the man over, his mind calculating the risks before loosening his grip. The man ran a hand over his shirt as he stood, a valiant attempt at smoothing out the wrinkles that would never leave, "This is my only shirt."

Edward crossed his arms, cocking an eyebrow up, as he demanded, "Well? Are you going to talk, or do I have to kick your ass again?"

The man looked up at Edward, his gaze ice, as his voice remained expressionless, "A child like you could never beat me."

Edward took several quick steps forward, his face coming within an inch of the others, his chest bumping against the older mans and he spat, "You'd probably die from a heart attack the moment you did anything straining old man."

The man narrowed his eyes, his teeth grinding as he kept himself rooted on the spot, his voice strained as he said, "My name is Roy Mustang."

Edward's eyes widened, his jaw dropping open just a fraction before his face hardened, shouting at the man in a fit of rage, "Roy Mustang is dead! Tell me who you really are!"

The man took a step forward, his face closing in on Edward's as he lifted his arm, a silver bracelet hanging from his wrist, "This states that I am Roy Mustang, State Alchemist."

Edwards took a step back, his chest heaving as he tried to take in the information that was being forcefully shown to him, each bit of knowledge making it harder and harder to think, "No… he died in the war. You must have stolen that, Roy would never…"

The man ran a hand over his face, a deep sigh emitting from his mouth, "What's it gunna take to convince you kid?"

Edward was silent for a moment, his eyes running up and down the man that bore a far too similar resemblance to his childhood friend, "Take off your shirt."

"What?!" The man spat, his face a twisted mess of confusion and repulsion.

Edward smirked, "I said take off your shirt, the real Roy Mustang has a scar running along the length of his back." When the man made no movement to do so, Edward continued, "Unless you're too chicken shit to do so."

The man grunted, reaching to the buttons of his shirt, muttering under his breath the entire time that he did so. The shirt was pulled away from his body with a flare, the fabric fluttering to the ground before he turned around, baring his back to the teen before him. "There? You satisfied?"

He turned to see the reaction of the younger but was met with a hit that was far stronger than anything he thought could come out of such a small frame. "YOU RAT BASTARD!" The man held up his arm, shielding his face from the onslaught of fury that was raining down on him. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?"

Roy grabbed the fist that was heading his way, pulling the arm around and pinning it to the back of it's owner, slamming the smaller body into the wall before him, "What are you talking about?"

The body struggled in his grip, trying to free itself from the grip that threatened to pop his arm right out of its socket, "How could you do that Roy? We thought you were dead! I thought you were dead! We mourned over you! We buried you! I buried you…" The boy's voice broke at the end of his sentence, his body relaxing in the older mans grip. Roy was stunned for a second, the boy's reaction taking him by surprise. The body tensed again, the boy gritting out, "Why didn't you come back?"

Roy let the boy's arm go, watching him as he rotated his shoulders to get the feeling back into them, "I don't know. I can only remember the last eight years. The first thing I know is that I woke up in an Ishbalan camp with half of my body bandaged and a young woman telling me not to move, anything before that is gone."

Edward watched the man with doubtful eyes, scanning the all so familiar face for any sign of a lie, "So what, you've just been living here the entire time?"

The man nodded, his head turning to look at the building surrounding him, "This ruin had been my home the entire time. I'm the only one here, so you can call off your dogs." The man face turned back to Edward, a fire burning within them.

Edward crossed his arms, his eyebrow rising as he asked, "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

Roy met Edwards stare, his answer level and straightforward, "Who would live in a ruin of their home town that holds nothing but painful memories?"

Edward turned his gaze from the man before him, his thoughts going to back to the home that he hadn't laid a foot in since the day he found out about Roy's death. His heart gave a painful tug, each memory, the good and the bad, flooding his mind and making the ache all the worse, "No one I guess."

Roy smirked, his voice cocky as he said, "There you have it." Slowly he turned away from the boy, walking into the darkness of the house. A hand grabbing his bare shoulder stopped him, the clothed appendage turning him back around.

"Where do you think you're going?" The blonde look genuinely interested and slightly confused at the fact that Roy was walking away from him.

"Back to my place," Roy motioned over his shoulder, thumb pointing vaguely in the darkness, "We're done here."

The hand tightened on his shoulder as the other took his arm, the younger starting to drag the elder out of the door, "No way. You're coming back with me."

Roy started to struggle, pulling on the hand that was slowly cutting off the circulation in his arm, "What the hell?! Let go of me midget!"

The grip around his arm tightened, the boy's voice strained as he said, "I'm going to get your memory back. And. Don't. Call. Me. Midget."

Roy huffed, rolling his eyes as he replied, "Whatever Bean."

Edward froze, everything coming to a complete stop in his mind, his grip going slack as his arms fell to his sides. Roy looked up from the ground, standing when Edward seemed to stop responding completely. He walked in front of the boy, waving his hand before his eyes several times while asking hesitantly, "Kid? Kid, you okay?"

Edwards movement was so sudden that Roy found himself letting out a squeak as the boy's arms wrapped around his torso, the blondes face pressing against his chest, tears starting to stream from his face, "I thought I'd never see you again, and here you fucking are, bigger than life. I hate you, you selfish bastard." Edward tightened his arms around Roy's torso, unconsciously making sure that he really was here in his arms, that the flesh and blood that he felt truly was the man he had been seeking for nearly half his life, the man that he would have given his life to see again, for just a moment.

Edward buried his face deeper into Roy's chest, gritting his teeth against the tears and pain that wouldn't stop flowing from him, every pent up emotion finally bursting forth in a flood that he couldn't stop. Roy was back, and at the same time he was never going to come back. Edward would never see his Roy again, and it was more painful than losing him the first time. Seeing him and hearing his voice while knowing the entire time that he wasn't the Roy that he had loved was worse than death itself.

Edward bared his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut in a failing attempt to stop the flow of bitter tears spilling from his eyes. Tightening his fists Edward made one final promise that day, "I'm going to get your memory back Roy, if it's the last thing that I do."

**Roy 31, Edward 17**

"I don't remember this place Fullmetal! What do you want me to say?"

Roy and Edward were standing before the Eastern headquarters, the building looming over them, the foreboding sense making Edwards heart sink even more, his determination growing with each failure.

Edward growled, hands curling into fists as he yelled, the metal of his hand connecting with a pillar of the outer gate, the stone crumbling around the appendage, "This was the last place that I could think of! What else are we supposed to try for fucks sake?!"

A hand gently touched Edwards shoulder, effectively calming him down, "It's alright brother. We'll just try something else-"

"Like what Alphonse? Hitting him up side the head? Oh wait, that sounds like a perfect plan! Mustang, hold still for a second…"

"Brother no!" Alphonse threw himself between Roy and Edward, blocking the adult from Edward's onslaught of madness. "Clam down brother and think! We can still ask May if she can do something about it!"

Edward lower his arm only to wave it around with the other frantically as he practically shouted at Alphonse, "Do you really think that her answer is going to be any different than what it was last time?" Edward dropped his arms, putting on a perfect bashful imitation of May Chang, head dropped and everything, "'I'm sorry Edward-sama, but the mind is not the same as the body, you can't just heal it in the same way that you would heal an injury'. It's not fucking happening Al!"

Alphonse held up his hands, trying to defuse the walking bomb that was his brother, "It was just a thought Ed."

Roy had been ignoring most of what had been happening behind him and opting out of staring at the building before him, "I don't even know why I would want to remember this place, I'd probably have to go back and fill out a report about where I was and what I was doing."

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Edward was yelling again, Alphonse trying his best to hold back his enraged brother.

The moment was broken when a hand landed on Roy's shoulder, the man startled as someone leaned down beside him, trying their best to get a good view of his face, "Roy? That you?"

Roy looked at the man beside him, taking in the spiky hair and square glasses, slowly trying to back away from the man as he spoke, "I'm sorry, I don't know you-"

"Roy! It is you! What are you doing here? We all thought you were dead!" The man presence of the man was over whelming, his demeanor just too joyful for Roy. That demeanor dropped suddenly though as the man continued, "I delivered the news myself. You never forget the look of someone who just found out their loved one died…"

The man turned away from Roy, taking in the two brothers who were currently grappling in the background, Edward trying to get out of Alphonse's hold. "Hey! You're Edward Elric right? The Fullmetal Alchemist?"

Edward barely had time to look at the man before his hand was taken in a firm grip and shaken back and forth, his arm nearly coming out of his socket by the sheer force, "Maes Hughes, at your service. I'm in the investigation unit in central. Just popped over here to get some documents and I just so happen to run into the Fullmetal Alchemist and Roy Mustang! Oh, you wouldn't mind if I borrowed him for a bit would you? I'll bring him right back of course."

Edward was flabbergasted; trying to understand what had just happened, let alone what the man had said, "Uh…"

"Perfect!" Hughes grabbed Roy by the back of his collar, dragging the other man behind him protesting, "I'll bring him back in a jiffy! You won't even notice that he's gone!"

Edward and Alphonse watched as Roy was dragged off into the distance, both sharing a look of utter confusion before Edward asked, "What just happened?"

Alphonse just shook his head, "I have no idea brother."

 

~FMA~

"So what you're saying is that you have no memory of anything other than the last nine years?" Hughes hand his chin in his hands, his eyes calm and calculating as he examined Mustang.

"That's what I've been telling you. I don't know who you are, let alone what we did in the war together." Roy had his arms crossed against his chest, his legs kicked out from the café table they were sitting at with his ankles over each other, his eyes gazing around and pausing on each woman they came on. Once of twice they would stay for a few seconds, but mostly they would pass by without too much of a glance.

The 'Hmmm' from the other end of the table got Roy turning back around to face the man that had so graciously bought him lunch, the half eaten sandwich sitting before him long forgotten. The eyes of the men met, both emotionless as they summed up the other. The air was thick with tension, neither willing to break the contact first. Just when things started to get uncomfortable for either person, Hughes removed his hands from his chin, exclaiming loudly, "Well, it's decided. I am going to help you remember who you were."

Roy cocked an eyebrow, his voice neutral as he asked, "And why would you do that?"

Hughes smiled, his eyes shinning as he said, "Isn't that something that people do for old war buddies? Help them out? Besides," Hughes eyes lit up, his smile broadening as he squealed; "I simply have to tell you about Elicia! She's the cutest thing you've ever seen! She looks just like her mother!"

Hughes had reached into his pocket, a stack of photos nearly an inch thick emerging with a heavy air around them. Roy could feel the dread pooling in his chest, a groan being pushed out of his throat as his head hit the table, Hughes voice already rambling on about his darling daughter and wife.

**Roy 31, Edward 17**

Edward couldn't handle it any more. It had been nearly two years and there was no sign of Roy's memory coming back any time soon. And it hurt more and more everyday.

Edward had thought that it would lessen as the time passed, that the feeling would become more and more numb as he grew accustom to the pain. The truth was the exact opposite. There was nothing more painful than the blank look that Roy would give him each day, the empty stare of indifference tearing the would open anew, forcing the wound wider and deeper. He was nearing his breaking point, his soul balancing on the edge of sanity and madness. The smallest of emotions was enough to send him crashing into the abyss.

That push came barreling into Edward with the force of a runaway train several days after Roy asked Hohenheim to teach him alchemy once again, the art form lost to him the same day that his memory had fled. Edward had been in Central, reporting on his latest mission into the philosophers stone to the Führer himself. It had been long and tedious, the old man nearing the end of his reign and desperately trying anything to keep his hold on their country. There was nothing that Edward wanted to see more than the death of the old geezer.

Walking to the old worn down house that he had called home for his entire life, Edward shucked off his boots, placing them neatly behind the door less he be called out by his mother, again. The building seemed to be empty, Alphonse and Trisha most assuredly out buying groceries. Edward walked through the barren house, stopping at the kitchen to grab a few slices of bread and meat before heading to his room, eating along the way.

The hallway was dark as Edward slowly strode down it, the make shift sandwich half way to his mouth before he paused, voices coming from within his father's office. The light crawled from the doorway as Edward slowly pushed the door open, knowing exactly how far into the room it could move before the hinges would cry out in protest. Putting his eye to the crack between the door Edward gazed in, his body and mind freezing at the sight that was before him.

Roy sat at Hohenheim's desk, his back turned to Edward while his father hovered over the now fully grown adult, his voice stern as he explained the fundamentals of alchemy to Roy, his fingers underlying the phrases as he spoke the words on the page out loud to his pupil. Edward didn't need to see his face to know that Roy was taking in every sentence with a vengeance, soaking in as much knowledge as he could possibly attain. Time stood still as the picture before Edward started to swirl, the past coming to replace the present. The figure of his father remained the same, but the years fell from Roy's figure like leaves in the fall. His stature shrunk and his frame thinned, but a certain warmth began to surround him, the thing that Edward missed the most of it all. The certain air that come off of Roy whenever he was around. The tendrils of heat and comfort that wrapped around the boy as he ran towards his friend, strong arms ready to catch him; never once letting him fall. There was no safer place in the world than in Roy's arms, a place all those years ago Edward would have never wanted to leave. Wanting to be around that special feeling he would sneak to his father's office and peak through the door in the same manner that he was doing now, his eye pressed to the hard wooden frame as he watched each lesson, his eyes remaining fixed on the teen.

Edward let out a gasp at the sudden rush of memories, the pain exploding in full force. In that instant the illusion broke, the warmth giving way to the cold, a bitter chill that could only be found on the mountains in winter. Two sets of eyes flashed back, catching the movement of the door shutting as Edward ran from the house, the suffocating memories threatening to compress him, his chest tightening as he struggled to breathe. Nearly falling over, Edward threw himself out the door, his feet taking him away from that cursed place, the pain of the past reaching out to grab him and drag him back in. He ran from them, his body knowing where to go to escape the searing wounds opening from within. The only reason he stopped was because his legs gave out from under him, already tired from the long journey to his house.

Looking around Edward found himself at the river, the tree that he and Alphonse would play underneath towering over him. This tree held his most cherished and hated memories, each one more bitter sweet than the last. This was the place that he had first met Roy, where he would drag the other boy out to so that they could play together, just the two of them. Those days ended quickly once Alphonse was big enough to play with them, but Edward couldn't find it in himself to hate his brother for making him share Roy; the teen was always his, there was nothing that would ever change that. Roy had been his and his alone, but now he was no ones, and there was nothing that Edward could do about that, and that fact hurt the most of all.

Edward reached his hand out, the cool rough bark scraping against his skin, an anchor to what was real in his life, something to separate reality from fantasy. From his hopes of Roy coming to him, his memory returned and his warmth emanating from him once again. His dreams of that man being what he once was, the boy that Edward once ran behind and strived to be like; the hero that once could do no wrong, the Hercules cast down to earth by the gods for him, a mere mortal to stumble upon. Every beat of his heart ached for the boy that he once knew, the boy that he once loved, to come back so he could run into his arms one last time and never let go. He would never let go, not for the world.

The tree keep him sane, reminded him of the truth that he had to face. That boy was gone the day that the news of his death arrived. That boy was buried, his empty coffin slowly rotting in the ground as only his memory was preserved within Edwards mind, memories from a child, faint and scarce but as pure as freshly fallen snow. This is what he had to live with, what he had to learn to deal and conform to. It would take all his strength, but Edward would learn. There was nothing left for him to do anyways. This was the only option left.

With his eyes closed Edward laid his head against the bark of the tree, the flesh of his forehead and hand pressing hard against the wooden skin, the small boy ready to pour every memory into the cracks and leave them behind, a last farewell to the past so he could finally move that one step forward. He paused at the sound of muffled footsteps, the grass hushing the fall of heavy feet. The steps stilled several feet away, Edward turning to look at the source of the disturbance, his curiosity taking control for just a moment.

He opened his eyes to see Roy gazing up at the limbs of the tree, his eyes sweeping over each branch in a slow and lazy drawl. His hands slipped into the pockets of his trousers, the sleeves of his white button down rolled up to his elbows. He said nothing for a while, just gazing at the tree as the wind played with his hair. Edward could make no noise, his voice stolen from him the moment that he saw Roy standing before him.

Keeping his eyes on the tree Roy stated with all the ease of recalling your own name, "She sure has grown since the day that we found her. You were so distraught over the sight of her lying on the ground, torn up by her roots. You wouldn't let me go until we planted her again at the top of the hill so she 'won't fall into the dirty ass river again'. You were so adamant, I just couldn't say no." Roy's eyes finally dropped, locking onto Edwards as he nearly whispered, "I could never say no to you Bean."

There was no way to describe what Edward felt at that moment, the surge of joy, the rush of happiness, and the flood of pure unadulterated relief. The smallest of smiles crossed his lips, the faintest of 'Roy's' slipping out before he was on his feet and running those few feet between them, crossing the distance before throwing himself into the arms of the man that he thought he would never see again. The warmth that he dreamed about encased him as Roy stumbled back a few feet, shocked by the sudden weight addition. He couldn't help the smile at the exuberance of Edward, his memories finally filling in all the holes and cracks that had been left empty for far too long. He tightened his grip around the smaller one, drinking in the contact that he never knew that he starved for.

Time didn't matter to either of them, be it thirty seconds or half an hour, neither was willing to let go of the other first. Edward was the first to move, pulling his head back from the crook of Roy's neck where it had been nestled to look at him for a brief second before slamming his lips against Roy's. It took Roy a fell second to wrap his head around what was happening before responding, melting into the kiss that he had hoped for, for far too long.

Edward pulled his head back; his mouth slick and swollen as he said with stern eyes, "Took you long enough you prick."

Roy smirked, his gaze challenging as he retorted, "Don't judge what you haven't seen."

Without a moment of hesitation Edward snapped back, "Then prove me wrong."

The shock was enough to make Roy pause, but not enough to get him to stop. Strengthening his grip around Edward's waist Roy walked to the tree, pushing the boys back against the bark that he had just minutes ago been ready to pour his soul into. The smaller let out a huff, his mouth open to complain before it was claimed once again by Roy, hands circling around the younger's torso before slipping between the soft folds of fabric and the sculpted skin covering a finely toned layer of muscle. His thumbs ran up and down the sides of perfectly shaped abs, fingers cupping the curve of Edward's slightly feminized waist. Roy could feel Edward's hand gripping tighter on his shoulders, a low moan rumbling in the back of the boy's throat as he turned his head to get a better angle for those lips he had been dying to taste.

Roy's hands slid down Edwards leather pants that he took such a liking too, the ones that accented his sculpted rear and were practically painted on his body. One hand made quick work of undoing the front button, the zipper echoing between the gasped breaths and sloppy kisses passing between the two men, while the other circled around to slip under those pants to squeeze Edward's ass. The boy's hips lifted, rubbing up against Roy's stomach with a hard determined pressure, the line of his stiffening cock clearly apparent against Roy's flesh.

Unwillingly Roy detached from Edward, panting slightly as he met the boys eyes, his self restraint at the breaking point, "I am going to ask you this once, are you sure that you want this?"

Edward grunted, rolling his hips once more before stating, "Does that feel unsure to you lard brain?"

Roy ignored Edward's comment, instead moving to slide those god sent pants off of his legs. Letting Edward drop to the ground for a moment, Roy knelt, peeling the pants off as fast as he could, thanking his lucky stars Edward had forgotten to put his boots on before running from the house. Slowly getting back to his feet Roy let his eyes drag slowly over Edward's body, taking in the glorious sight before him. Finally reaching the other's face Roy put on a lewd sneer, his eyebrow cocking as he said, "Commando huh?"

Edward blushed, turning his face away from Roy as he stammered, "The pants don't fit any other way…"

Roy chuckled, the noise making Edward fume, his face going red. Roy leaned down, crowding the boy as he husked, "I'm not complaining."

Edward's head snapped back around, his mouth connecting with Roy's again just to shut the man up; a movement that Roy was more than content with. With a firm grip Roy took the boy's lithe thighs in his hands, the soft skin warm in his palms. With a single motion Roy had the boy once again around his waist, hands settling under Edwards rounded ass. The boy shuddered at the touch, his hands making their own work of Roy's shirt, nimble fingers popping button after button out of their relative resting places. The hot flesh and cool metal traveled back up Roy's blushing chest, shoving every inch of fabric out of their way until the shirt was a crumpled heap on the ground.

Edward looked straight up at Roy, his head bowing down as his tongue slipped from his mouth, licking from his chest to his neck, circling his jaw before sucking hard on the soft skin right below it, fueled by the heaving breaths that he could feel under his palm. Licking over the fresh bruise Edward slipped his left hand up to Roy's mouth, trailing his fingers over supple lips before being let inside. A heavy breath left Edward's mouth as Roy's tongue coated each one in thick spit, the flexible muscle sending shivers up his spine.

Edward slowly pulled the appendages from Roy's mouth, capturing the trail of saliva with his own mouth before bringing his hand down, circling his tight entrance before pressing in, a burning moan echoing from his lips. Roy watched with dark eyes, his own hand going down unconsciously to his pants, travelling between the suffocating fabrics to pressed hard against his own dick. The pressure wasn't enough as Edward's head fell back, a second finger joining the first as he opened himself up. Tearing his pants open, Roy freed himself, his cock thickening at the sight before him, aching to be engulfed in the boy whose moans were surrounding him in a warm blanket. "Done this before Fullmetal?"

Edward shook his head, twisting his fingers and letting out a small cry, "Only for you."

Roy's groan burst from his mouth, low and guttural it echoed in Edward's ears. Spitting on his hand, Roy's eyes never left Edward, stroking his shaft he watched. Each movement the other made would never be forgotten, Roy was going to make sure of that. This was something that he could never forget.

The memory of making love to the person he had loved his entire life was something that he would die without.

Edward slipped another finger into himself, eyes half lidded as they raised to Roy's, "God…Mustang. I'm ready- just do it."

Roy nodded, licking his palm and stroking himself one more time for good measure before lining himself up and slowly pushing into the lithe and willing man before him. Both bodies shuddered as they connected, hot breath huffing out as they became complete, a feeling that was more perfect than life itself. Neither moved, too wrapped up in the searing heat of each other to do anything more than soak in the glow.

"Move damn you," Edward growled eventually, his left foot moving to push against the tree, the leverage letting him raise himself up before dropping down hard, swallowing Roy up to the root. Gritting his teeth Roy pulled out slowly, the drag and friction threatening to burn him up, a fire that he would willingly give in to. With a forceful snap, Roy slammed back into Edward, their combined saliva just enough to make the path slick. The startled gasp that Edward let out had Roy quickening his pace, the boy becoming a mess as he joined in Roy's pace, lifting and dropping himself to get Roy deeper and deeper within himself.

Roy let his hands trail over Edwards thighs as he moved, the feeling of his muscles contracting and tightening under his palms the beat he paced his rhythm to, a silent song ringing through the valley. It was when those muscles began to shutter that Roy knew Edward was close, the older man not far behind, the pure euphoric feeling something that he had never experienced before. Nothing had ever felt this good.

"Roy… I'm gunna-" Edwards hands clenched on Roy's chest, finger's digging into his flesh.

Roy snapped his hips up, burying himself as deep as he could go as he commanded, "Now Ed."

Edward cried out, his eyes closed tight and head against the tree behind him. The cords in his neck stood out as he came, the thick milky substance painting both men in strands, the liquid oozing down their chests in a slow slide.

Roy moaned at the sight, Edward clamping down on him as he shot his load in the hot body before him, his mind slowing down as he tried to decide whether or not that had really happened.

Sliding out of the boy, Roy helped him stand up, both unsure on their feet. For a moment they were fine, limbs trembling and every appendage utterly useless. Edward then decided to take a step forward, his leg collapsing beneath him, causing him to fall forward onto Roy. The older man attempted to catch him but to no avail, both falling to the ground in a heap and moan of pain.

They lay there for a moment before Roy started laughing, Ed looking up in a huff, as he demanded, "What's so funny?"

Roy looked down at him, smiling coyly as he said, "For a Bean, you're really heavy."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEAN?!"

**Author's Note:**

> Man, I've really got a thing for memory loss... Weird...
> 
> I'm probably going to be posting one shots from this verse later on. If people are interested that is...


End file.
